Bratty sub

This I am reposting from her journal to my own as a reminder to myself in the future of my own reasons for things...

Elle:

Sir told me that yesterday that i was acting bratty.

In all reality I am not sure if he is amused or not. Bratty doesn't sound like a compliment, but he was smiling and laughing the whole time.
This morning Sir decided that with him and online (and other appropriate D/s situations) that I should show more traditional respect. When I am with family and friends that I could be a little more loose. But I guess that confuses me. Does Sir not like laughing with me? It is hard to imagine the mirth in his eyes actually being disappointment. He also didn't punish me - so I again and confused if he is really displeased with me or not.

I know that I am to obey Him in all things... just realizing that I am confused. I want to make Him happy. Just feel like a couple mixed signals. I shall be patient with Him as I understand He is trying to figure this out as well.

My Response:

I'll attempt to clarify a bit a couple of things you mentioned.

I was very amused by you yesterday, and for the most part was using bratty as a playful term. I would appreciate more traditional respect in the chat-room and such, as actions there do reflect on both of us. On you for how well you are behaved, and on me for how well I have trained you.

The request for more traditional respect while in private is more of a training thing.

Don't get me wrong, I love laughing and playing with you, and thats not something I want to change long-term at all. However, I think for the sake of training my sub we need to start from the basics and have the respect part down. The idea is to make sure that you know that the poking fun and 'bratty' behavior is there because I allow it, and not because I don't, or can't have control. If this is to be a true 24/7 D/s relationship, thats how I beleive it needs to be.

You deserve a strong Dom as much as I deserve the incredibly good sub that I beleive you to be.

There was no punishment beyond font color because there was no conversation about it before hand, so it wouldn't be right to do so.

I hope that clears up the thought on it all a bit.

Meeting

Elle would life us to head out to a much sometimes and meet more people like us.

I am not sure what I think of this yet,  but I think pretty soon that I will try to find something that looks like we can meet up with others, but where there isn't too much pressure to jump right into performing in front of a group.  I just don't think we have enough rules and protocol set up yet, but we are getting there.
The training seems to be going fairly well at this point, but I have to figure out exactly what I'm looking for before I can train her too much.  Some of the training seems obvious however I would still like to be able to laugh and play with her at times too without it coming off as disrespectful.

We will get there, but I wonder how other people handle this particular situation.   While at this point I know that this is the right path I'm not sure exactly how to handle certain aspects of the relationship.

A day off!

Today is the last day that elle and I will have a chance to be alone together for quite a while as the kids are out of school and such.  So, I took the day off work to spend with my girl.    I wanted to take the time to take her out in public and see how we operate together and such.

She did really well, although had to be reminder where to walk once. . .    but once reminder, she did awesome.  

We are falling into this well it seems.  :)

Falling into this

It seems that we are falling into this far better then I would have expected.

Elle (not her real name, but how I will refer to my sub here), it seems has always been very oriented towards being a 24/7 submissive.   She has fallen into this role incredibly well.  She will not take off the bracelet I gave her for anything, gets mildly jealous when she hears of someone else calling me Sir, seems disappointed when unable to call me Sir due to others around, and geniuinely disappointed when unable to finish a task that I have given for any reason...    She has informed me that she has full trust in me, and will obey any command or decision that I make.  

While slightly jealous if someone calls me sir, she would understand if I choose play with another sub, or even to claim another sub, as long as she was first girl, and maintained something special over the other.   She would also accept if I chose to loan her out to another dom without argument.    And I beleive that she would. I am not really sure I can see that happening though. 

That being said, something I read from someone else starting out in this was fairly telling of the whole scene.  Her words were, "If only I knew when I started that 'never' was six months away." when referring to something you would never do.   lol   (spanking being the example showing itself for me)

For my side, I have always been a fairly controlled, laid back person.  I never felt comfortable telling someone what to do, and certaintly not ordering them.  I never would have imagined myself getting into this role.   Simply asking a waiter to get me a glass of water at times seemed rough as I did not want to inconvience them. Throughout my relationship with Elle, I have tried to take care of her and please her, always worried about everything she was thinking or doing as I did not want to hurt her in any way.  She has told me to do what I wanted before, and to not worry about her before.  She has tried to tell me for years she was not made of glass.

Starting this, and seeing her get on her knees and ask to serve me, I became slowly aware of just how much she meant it.  She needs to be controlled to feel loved.   She needs to know that someone cares enough to tell her no.   This knowledge, has allowed me to fall into this lifestyle as well even further.  What I have found is that controlling her makes her happy, which in turn makes me happy. . .  That being said, I can feel myself slipping further into the Dom role.   There is a point, so I hear, where every sub who suggests the D/s lifestyle comes to a shocking realization that it is indeed the Dom's life she is living in, and not the other way around.   If they dont have that realization, they are 'topping from the bottom' which generally just leads to things falling apart and never really working. 

There have been a couple occasions where I have 'yanked her chain' and put her back in her place as sub, and I think that it is starting to become more clear to her that this is actually what I want too. .   I love having her serve my every desire. . .   my every wish.

I look at myself now vs. a week ago and I can't beleive the change.  I never could have imagined this, but at this point, I am in full control of our relationship.  I made the choices, and I control what she does during the day.    I demand that when I come home we go into private and she kneels before me, asking that I allow her to serve for the remainder of the day.    I love that when we go to bed, she gets on her knees in front of me and thanks me for allowing her to serve.  I love that I call her a good girl, and then after she asks if she can enter my bed, I allow her to and she does.  I love that she kneels in front of me each morning, promising her servitude for the day. . .   

But more important then all of that, I love the way she looks during all of it.  I love knowing this is exactly what she needs and desires.   I love knowing that I have become the man that she has always wanted. . .

She is concerned that this may not be my natural spot. . .    whereas I am more concerned because I am finding out that it is . . .

Doesn't this make me the domineering selfish asshole I have always heard about?

I thought so, right up until I realized that this was more for her then it was for me.   This is what she actually wants, and in hindsight has been asking me for the past 7 years of marraige.   I do however hope that this desire of hers doesnt change, because I fear that this personality change may be a one way road.  Going back to a vanilla relationship would already be hard at this point. . .

Who knows what the future holds...  Time will tell, but I am excited to lead my sub through it.  :)

A few days in the life..

Well, we have been going at this for a few days now, and things have been fairly incredible. . .   I think we have both fallen into our roles fairly well.   We have also turned into rabbits it seems. . .    :P    Its weird to say at this point, but I seem to have fallen in love with her all over again. . ..

A couple things have happened. . .    

• We have decided on our set of safe words. .    We are going to go with the standard Green, Yellow, Red. . .   Green meaning go, faster, harder, something along those lines.  Yellow meaning slow down. . .   and Red meaning stop..
• Sir seems to have been born.   She is referring to me as Sir almost all of the time when in private now. . .   I never thought that I would enjoy being referred to like that, but I am finding it growing on me extremely fast. . .   At this point, I am loving it...
• Elle was born as well.  I need a way to refer to my sub company or in public without giving it away that I am referring to her as such.   Elle is the name that I will use for this, as it is close enough to her name to not seem strange.  (I won't say her real name here, and you wont guess it from Elle)
• The night before last, she broke one of the rules she knows well.   I do not think it was intentional, but still it was one that she knows.  She is working on having better control of some things, so this needed to be punished.    She received her first spanking.    It was mild, and I made sure to give plenty of after-care to her.   Its not something I ever though I could do. ..  More on that aspect in the next post.
• I learned that she doesn't mind spankings, and fully respects that they should be there for this relionship to work. . .   She enjoyed knowing that I will take control of her like that if I deem it necessary.

Now, I am done with the back-dated posts...  and I can start from where we are now...

Homecomings. . .

We talked quite a bit for the rest of my trip about our choice.   Probably more then we have talked on the phone in a year combined it seemed like.   It was actually very awesome, and a big reminder of how much I missed being able to hang out with her without worry of doing something wrong or that I somehow wasn't making her happy, as that is always something I strove to do...

We spent a lot of time talking about exactly what we wanted out of this, and how it would affect our lives.  What we decided was that we were going to live the D/s life 24/7, and do our best to work around kids/family/life in such a way that it wasn't known to all of them what was going on between us.

One of those couple days, I found a flea market and got her a bracelet that I was going to have her wear as a reminder that she belongs to me, and is my sub.  She is not used to wearing bracelets, so this seemed perfect to me as it would be a constant reminder of me.

The worst part about coming home was that A. was not going to be there.  She had a campout she had to do over the weekend with our daughters girl scouts. 

I asked her to start a Journal every day that I had access to, writing down all her thoughts and concerns.  That was to be a place that she could put absolutely anything she wanted without fear of repurcussion or punishment from me, her Dom. She could write about whatever was on her mind. It helps me to know what she is thinking so that I can do better for her as Dom.

I couldn't go straight home, because she had our boy with her at the girl scout camp, and he needed to go home as he was not allowed to stay, so I stopped by and picked him up.

However, I told her that I wanted her to arrange for some time so that we could go for a walk and talk some, since I hadn't seen her in over a week at that point, and it was still going to be a couple days. . .

So when I got there, she met me out by where the cars were parked, and told me that the boy was in one of the cars playing with an iPad.    So, we went for a walk out of sight of anyone. . .  Once we were alone, I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back to kiss her deeply.    I did so, and then asked her to get down to her knees and welcome me home.  

She got down on her knees and looked up at me, welcoming me back home.  As we were sufficiently far enough away from everyone, I had her unzip my jeans and take me into her mouth for a moment, as a welcome, and as a promise of things to come.   She did so, and then she stood up and said, 'Thank you, Sir.'   I got a big smile on my face, told her I couldn't wait until we got her home, and then she got up and I led her back to the cars, before collecting the boy and heading back to the house...

Beginnings...

A while back my girl A, and I took part in an alternative lifestyle choice.   We decided to become swingers, and I have created a blog regarding some of our experiences in that lifestyle.   We stopped doing that for a long time due to some issues that kept arising between us.  I think it was a lack of trust on both of our sides that eroded our strength in that situation.

Since then, our relationship has been ok for the most part.  We have our ups and downs as everyone does, but decided we needed a change.

While I was gone for a business trip, I was talking to A on the phone and she told me she was thinking about something but that she would rather send me an e-mail. . .   so I waited, and she did later.

Her message said that she was interested in exploring the D/s lifestyle. . . .  but wanted me to think about it before I agreed of course, because it has to be right for both of us.

The next day, another message came in asking me to just forget about it.

My response explained to her that she didn't need to feel ashamed to ask anything of me. . .    and that I would be willing to explore it.   Just from knowing each other, we both already knew she would take the role of sub, and I would take the role of Dom. . .   And thus begins our path..